Category Archives: quotes

Almost Random Quotes

i’ll get back to questions, but in the meantime, here are some quotes that appealed to me.  Googling “quotes bdsm” yields some fun results…

“I’ve been taking it easy on you, kid, can tell you’re having fun. But it’s all sensation to you so far. I haven’t pushed you, taken you out of yourself, looked for that place inside where you give yourself to your top. Sometimes pleasure can take a bottom there, but more often it’s pain that does.”
― Anne ThomasJust Friends

“You so need a Daddy, little girl.”
― Breanna HayseThe Game Plan

“Conn was a wickedly passionate, fiercely dominant man who loved her too much to ever really hurt her.”
― Joely Sue BurkhartTake Me

“Right on the edge of fear was where trust could grow.”
― Cherise SinclairBreaking Free

“It was good for her though, to submit to things that weren’t for her pleasure, but his.”
― Annabel JosephCirque de Minuit

Memorial Day

This is a lovely weekend for me ~ the true beginning of summer, which i love, lots of activities with friends and loved ones.

And in the US, it’s a time to remember and appreciate those who died for our freedom.

Four things support the world: the learning of the wise, the justice of the great, the prayers of the good, and the valor of the brave.    ~~ Muhammad

And each man stand with his face in the light of his own drawn sword. Ready to do what a hero can.  ~~ Elizabeth Barrett Browning

For love of country they accepted death.  ~~ James A. Garfield

Hope you have a wonderful day…

Thinking Outloud

Sir was busy all day Saturday {while i was being  lazy} and i was busy all day yesterday, so i still don’t know what menu we’re He’s creating on the paper we’re going to clip to the clipboard.  So who knows when i’ll find out what that’s about.

In the meantime, my desire for more discipline has faded.   Or maybe it’s just moved to the back burner.  In any case, it’s no longer pressing at me.

There’s often a tension between my longing for a life of strict discipline ~ yes, like my training school fantasies, where i’m controlled to the max ~ and a life of flowing through the universe with gentle compassion for myself and others.  i’m not sure they’re mutually exclusive visions, so maybe my life is about trying to find the balance.

Anyhow, in my “i want more discipline” phase, i got a link to a website that fascinated and intrigued me.  Watchfulness:  A Community of Women.

It’s an enticing site.  i felt drawn to it, and on edge, a little nervous.  i spent days exploring the public parts of it, and discussing it with friends and with Sir.  i’m still not sure what i think of it.

It makes me feel “darkly and richly female,” from the Anais Nin quote:

“I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don’t mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don’t mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling, be all that I am capable of doing, but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding.”

And it seems to offer a community that would support my desire to be more controlled, to live up to my own standards and expectations for myself.  But ultimately, i decided that wasn’t the path for me.

This post ~ Ducks on a Pond ~ by Sir Raven had a strong impact on me.  Sir Raven is jade’s Master ~ youall know Jade.  Jade and i had been talking about our respective Masters, and had speculated that they are less concerned about making sure we’re working on improving all the time than we are. That they’re more comfortable with just letting things coast.

Sir Raven writes that slaves:

“…need to see movement. since they are always, moving. From the outside one can say that her service to me to which serves the dynamic is visible. That same one can say that from the outside my part of serving the dynamic is not visible. Like the duck on the pond, where people are looking at the duck and saying “oh look how the ducks are floating on the pond?” No one ever says “damn those ducks must be paddling their asses off under the water to move so gracefully.”

I’m not speaking for all masters, but the ones I know are always thinking, of how they want to and which direction they want their dynamic to move.

That made me think.  i really appreciate the reminder that i’m not aware of every thought Sir has about our dynamic and don’t need to be.

Trust.  i need to trust Him.   Not try to work around Him.  Ok.  Got it.

But the other thing that shifted my mind was this comment from another friend.  She says:

So here’s what is fascinating to me.  You have found a Dom/Sir who is, and granted, this is just second-hand observation based on your writing, happy with you as you are.  I am so thrilled for you, and truth told, a tiny bit maybe envious.  This relationship took time, and built, and we got to see a glimpse of the sweetness (and struggle) of the relationship in your blog words.  And I’m not sure I’m capturing this, but one of the most interesting parts (with a dash of humor and a bit of cuteness) is that he loves you just as you are, and the you that you are (that he loves) is still searching for more accountability or standards or whatever you are calling it.  So he loves you for what you are, and what you are is searching to improve and be – different?  I am not sure I’ve captured the essence of what makes me smile about this, and different may be the completely wrong word, but this juxtaposition it is interesting and endearing and tickles my funny bone.  (I hope that is not offensive – it isn’t meant to be.)

Well, it didn’t offend me at all, it made me laugh, and i got it.  Sir was amused too, and saw the delightful irony of it.

Sometimes i think that it would be easier if i had something outside me driving me to be better, to work harder, to push myself more.   i think i want that external control and validation.  i think i want to give up more control of myself, be more contained.   i think i want a bunch of rules to check off a list so i know i’m a good girl.

But i don’t guess that’s really the kind of discipline i need.

For real, i need to keep developing who i am.  i need to keep being the flawed seeker,  looking for what i’m supposed to do next and how i’m supposed to do it, wandering down strange pathways and having adventures along the way.

Today, i am content to do that.   Today anyhow.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Every year, i look for an appropriate quote for Mother’s Day, and usually can’t find one.  The images we have of “mother” seem to be either so saccharine or so sarcastic that they just don’t work for me.  But i ran across this:

I love you, Mom! Do you remember the first time your baby said those words? I’m not sure I can specify a precise moment, either. Does it matter? Has any sound ever been more beautiful? No, let’s not quantify the moments of our motherhood journeys. We mothers are unquantifiable! Our power is too intense for measurement or commodification.

Do you feel this? This power is in you, it is you, it is all yours. Did you always know this about yourself? It’s ok if you aren’t used to holding yourself in that powerful space; you can merely say hello to your power whether it answers you back or not. You don’t even have to know where it rests inside you just to acknowledge that it is there, somewhere, waiting for you to call it into action. If you are unfamiliar with it, you can even welcome your power to make itself known. Be patient; it may take some time for you to hear it calling back.

You are the power that was once two (or more) people, separate heartbeats with only one voice and only one pair of eyes with which to judge this world. You are the power who nurtured a whole new human into being. Maybe you aren’t raising this child. You are still the power that was deemed worthy of creating that child. Your experience changed your life even if you rarely or never have your child with you today. No matter how brief or how infrequently your mothering experience, you are in our sisterhood of motherhood.

Or, was your motherhood a gift from another mother? Are you the lucky mother who knows the journey is no less immensely spectacular even if the new life you care for didn’t come forth from within your own body? Blood is not where this mothering power came from. This power is intangibly immense. Your power was calling to you even before you recognized it. Your power has sustained you against odds that other mothers may be unaware of. You are part of our sisterhood.

Do you feel that sisterhood, Mom? We love you. Can you feel our love? When your power seems lost, or weakened, or challenged somehow, I hope you feel our sisterhood radiating all around you. It can take an especially keen eye to find this sisterhood, but we all deserve it and we all have the reserve within us to keep reaching out until we find it. Regardless of choices made in our motherhood journeys, no matter how many stakeholders have influenced us, we deserve sisterhood. We all do.

Every mother everywhere deserves to know that we mothers stand together for each other. What happens to one of us is felt by us all and the tsunami of mother-power will roar for its due respect. One mother begins a movement that spreads loving, healing power to all mothers. Mothers mothering each other in a sisterhood of undeniable, brilliant power are what make the world worth anything. We must never let each other’s hearts fall on the ground for then the world would stop. We save each other a little bit every day just by acknowledging each other’s unique power. We save the world a little bit every time we honor each other’s individual journeys. We save the world. We do it together by lifting each other up and by sharing the weight of each other’s loads. We take on the impossible to make the unbelievable possible.

Mom, YOU are a superhero! We hope you wear your cape proudly however you choose to use it.

Tiff Brown
State Director for New York

i thought it was a nice way of saying Happy Mother’s Day to you all.

Easy Arousal

This quote still arouses me.  That’s all it takes ~ this little quote:

“As a matter of fact,” the other voice went on, “if you do tie her up from time to time, or whip her just a little, and she begins to like it, that’s no good either. You have to get past the pleasure stage, until you reach the stage of tears.”
― Pauline Réage, Story of O

And this one heightens the effect:

“O was infinitely more moving when her body was covered with marks, of whatever kind, if only because these marks made it impossible for her to cheat and immediately proclaimed, the moment they were seen, that anything went as far as she was concerned. For to know this was one thing, but to see the proof of it, and to see the proof constantly renewed, was quite another.”
― Pauline Réage

i love Story of O.  Like so many people, i first discovered BDSM through that classic work.   It was one-handed reading for many of my solitary erotic moments.  In fact, just a glimpse of the cover still stirs me.

i thought i was going somewhere with this, but apparently not.  And now it’s time to go exercise and get ready for another busy day.  Sorry about that…

Too Cranky for Kink

Ok, there’s really no such thing as “too cranky for kink,” i just like the sound of the title.

Five times in the last week, i’ve had to “share” a brief bio of myself, or introduce myself to a new group and tell them a little about myself.  i now have it down to a cut-and-paste science.

This means that i have five new groups of people or activities that I’ve connected with in the last frigging week.  That is too much for this introvert.  I want to pull my shell up over my head and disappear.

Susan Cain, who wrote  “The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking,” says of introverts:

“It’s as if they have thinner boundaries separating them from other people’s emotions and from the tragedies and cruelties of the world.”

That always sounds a little overly dramatic to me, but still.  There is something to it.  And i’m feeling it today.

And no.  For those of you on the verge of asking if i’ve been thoroughly spanked and soundly fucked lately ~ the answer is ‘no.’  We’ve been busy.    Both of us.

i was going to put in a quote about being busy right here ~ seems appropriate, doesn’t it?  But when i google “quotes busy” i get stuff like this:

“Those who are wise won’t be busy, and those who are too busy can’t be wise.”
― Lin Yutang, The Importance Of Living

Really?  What do you know Lin Yutang?

There’s this:

“Instead of saying “I don’t have time” try saying “it’s not a priority,” and see how that feels. Often, that’s a perfectly adequate explanation. I have time to iron my sheets, I just don’t want to. But other things are harder. Try it: “I’m not going to edit your résumé, sweetie, because it’s not a priority.” “I don’t go to the doctor because my health is not a priority.” If these phrases don’t sit well, that’s the point. Changing our language reminds us that time is a choice. If we don’t like how we’re spending an hour, we can choose differently.”
― Wall Street Journal

Ugh.  That one makes me really uncomfortable ~ of course kink is a priority for me!  THEY just don’t get it.

Or this:

“We all have the same 24/7. What we do with our time becomes our priority. Choose what you do with your time and do not lead a life by default”
― Patt Hollinger Pickett

Dr. Patt calls himself the Marriage Whisperer.  Hmpf.  What does he know?

At least this one is more non-judgmental:

“How come I have too many things to do all the time…??”
― Hiroko Sakai

And this one is perhaps my favorite ~ today, anyhow:

“Busy days galore…thoughts in a kaleidoscope of dervish dances.”
― Al Cash

Ok, Sir just texted me from our basement, where He’s watching Sunday Morning.   No, i’m not kidding.  Texted me to tell me about our plans for the day ~ which are going to be fun.  And delightfully vanilla.  Double vanilla bean.

Yes, i have another installment of Kinky Kastle coming in the morning… but now i’m off and running again.

Thought for the Day – 4/10

“There are two kinds of strengths: the strength to lead, and the strength to follow; the strength to control, and the strength to yield. There are two kinds of power: the power to strip another’s soul bare, and the power to stand naked. Do not mistake following for weakness, for it is not. Do not mistake yielding for weakness, for in yielding there is resilience. Do not mistake the submissive’s need for relatedness for inability to be alone. Submissive women are not weaklings. They are sensitive people who have a great deal of resilience in the face of their particular challenges. Submissiveness is a strength seeking a proper context.”
— Yalda Tovah, “The Healthy Submissive”

i haven’t heard of this person, or this book before – has anyone else?  There is more here and perhaps it is a blog and not a book?  i don’t have time to look for more right now, or even to research what i’ve found… but i love this paragraph and the other bits and pieces i had a chance to look at.  If you know more, share with us, ok??