Monthly Archives: April 2014

In my Life Today

In my life today are

~  a few accomplishments – saw a client, had a meeting, planned an event, went to the market and got some veggies.

~~ some conflicts – am working on creating consensus in a group that is made up of about 30 strong-minded people, with varying degrees of willingness to come to the same table on mutual terms, so it’s absolutely like herding cats.  And they are all people who matter to me – maybe some more than others, but most of all as a group that i would like to function in a cohesive manner.   The situation has the potential to blow up and hurt lots of people’s feelings, none of which will be my fault, but the goal is still to work through the issues involved in a helpful way, and i’m in a position to maybe move things in that direction.  It ties my stomach in knots sometimes, even though i know there’s no actual reason for it to.

~~~  a request – for some information related to an opportunity – the request will require about 10 hours of work (not previously planned for) over the next 3 days, which could result in absolutely nothing, or a successful venture that might or might not open other doors, or it could be a huge flop.

~~~~ And food.  I had a delicious cage free, organic egg, hard-boiled for breakfast.  For lunch, I had a lovely crepe with spinach, feta, mushrooms, and avocado.   Then I came home, saw the request, looked at developments on the conflict, and promptly ate 6 oatmeal cookies and a small cup of ice cream.  Yep.

You may not know this about me, but i am typically the one who is always calm, always in control, always doing whatever needs to be done and making it look smooth.   And that really is me, don’t misunderstand me, i am that girl.

And i am this girl – ate up with anxiety, overwhelmed, not sure what to do, scared i’m going to fuck it all up so bad that all the good things will go away.

And this girl likes to eat.

Fuck.  i wish i’d quit trying to eat my anxiety away.  It is not going anywhere.   It is all first world problems, all privileged stress.  i would like to be ok with that.



Damnit, i need

i need to be dominated.

i do.

yes, i’m a partner, yes, i can hold my own, i’m smart and successful and


Not pissed, needy.  Frigging needy.



I love this:


I love it from a vanilla perspective, and it always makes me think of BDSM.  And being “stronger in the broken places.”

Yeah. i need to remember this.

A Foolish Girl

Not just any foolish girl, you know, it would be me i’m talking about.


Last night, Sir said something about making my ass warm and pink, maybe putting some stripes on it.  In my heart, i was jumping up and down with enthusiasm.  But ~~

~~ instead of saying, “O, yes, Sir, please,”

i said something rebellious instead.  i don’t even remember what it was.  Not something mean, but something cutesy rebellious ~

~~ and He laughed.  Laughed out loud.  Like, “Silly girl, what are you thinking?”

And i was excited.  i thought, “He’s going to snatch me up and spank me anyhow!!  Yay!!”

And then ~~~

~~~~ nothing.

Nothing at all.

Sometimes we get what we deserve.  Sometimes, we deserve what we get.



So when i mention this to Sir –  all coy – “i thought you were going to spank me last night…”

He says, “I was!!  You said it wasn’t a good night to do it because you’d had too much to eat!!”

Deflated, i say, “O.  Hmm.  i can see that.  But i didn’t think it was up to me.”

He went on, “Right!  I thought about that later!  But when you said it, I thought, well, I don’t want to cause any digestive problems with you bent over the bed.”

O.  i guess i can’t actually complain about that.

Foolish girl…


Fiona is lovely.  And intense.  Warm and outgoing with a wicked sense of humor.

i was so glad to see her!  We met before, you know, so i knew lunch would be interesting and fun.  Fiona has a way of being present,  being wholly with you in the moment that is captivating.

We met at Sir’s daughter’s house before we went to lunch.  She charmed Sir’s daughter immediately, and fussed over the babies, who would have been caught up in her spell too, if they had been awake. i know i was!

And she brought the babies gifts, which was wholly unnecessary and incredibly sweet.  But they were adorable gifts – miniature comfort blankets, soft and cuddly, but small, with a stuffed animal attached.  i can’t explain it well… but trust me, they were adorable.

She brought me a gift too, which she should totally NOT have done, because you know, really?  Just having lunch with her was plenty of gift.  And then i felt bad because i shoulda got her a gift.  So she brought me an adorable tea cup set, with little spoons and little plates to put the teabag on.  They were entirely too cute.  i told her she was awful, and she is cause you know, she shouldn’t have gotten me anything, but she did and i loved it, so thank you, Fiona!!

And there will be payback at some point.

At lunch, Sir made me blush when he started telling her about how we celebrated my birthday and casually said something like, “We started with a birthday spanking,” and i turned red and Fiona laughed and – yeah, it was one of those moments that doesn’t happen often for us bloggers.  Sweet.

So we talked – and talked – and talked.  Fiona and Sir both have a fascinating array of stories to tell.  Fiona is dramatic and funny – did i say funny?  Smart.  And interesting.  It was a great lunch.

i’m so lucky to have met such wonderful people through blogging.  Strange, isn’t it?  Without blogging, Fiona and i would never have met.  Without kinky blogging, if we had met, we would never have known we have so much in common!!

We talked about a dungeon in another city – and how much fun it would be to go there.  Sir has been to this one, but neither Fiona nor i have been. and i’m thinking it would be a blast to go.   Can you imagine?  Us, and Fiona and Fiona’s Sir, all at the dungeon?

Yeah.  Good times ahead.






Blogging Buddies

i get to have lunch with Fiona today!

Yep.  Fiona of Sir Q and Me.  If you don’t read her, you should.

Me and Sir and Fiona.  How cool is that?

Sir has family that live not too far from her.  It’s not as close as i originally thought, but close enough that we can get together while we’re here visiting His family for a couple of days.  His family has new grand babies, so we’ve been hanging out feeding and holding little ones.

But we met Fiona met before when she and her kids came through My Town.  Can’t wait to see her again – good times ahead!

How ’bout them buttons?

It was lovely.

i had forgotten just how lovely it is to submit.

Those chopstick-like nipple crushers are a good way to start.  You know what i mean, right?  Sir made His own and those are evil.  Fortunately, He is not a sadist, so He doesn’t use them as harshly as He could.  But still…

And it’s been so long since i was thoroughly spanked that He had to tie my hands so i didn’t try to protect my ass.  Yep, guess i’m not gonna be “submissive of the year” this year either.  🙂

i had forgotten just how lovely it is, to be helpless and spanked and clamped and fucked.


i think my Sir is back.