Category Archives: Mundane matters

Miscellaneous Nonsense

i was trying to write a post on some “sensual moments” of my own, but got lost along the way.  Maybe you can help me – what is the name of the Black singer from the  70’s who did “love songs” but they really didn’t have much in the way of lyrics, it was mostly this super deep voice crooning, “Ooooooh baby, baby, I love you baby, baby…”  Real slow and romantic.

i was thinking it was Barry White, but it’s NOT.  So now i don’t know who it is.  People used to sort of laugh at him because it was so predictable, all his songs sounded just about the same, but if you liked one, you liked them all.

Damn.  i just can’t remember.  If you can, please share!!

In other news ~ here is a little miracle to consider ~ i fell yesterday.  In a parking lot.  Stepped in a pothole and fell flat on the ground.  No, that’s not the miracle, hang with me.

Scared the crap out of me, face down on the asphalt.  Knocked the wind out of me for a moment, shook me up a bit.  Scraped my elbow.  Scraped my knee.  Bruised the heel of my hand.

And that’s it.

Yeah.  Apparently i got off just that easy.  My knee is a teeny bit stiff today, but just barely.

Sir was freaked when i told Him about it, “You could have died!!” He said.

And He’s right.  Not to be overly dramatic, but my face was inches from the pavement, i could have hit my head and died.   i could have fallen wrong and broken something ~ a hip, goddess forbid ~ an arm, my ankle…

Instead ~ a scraped elbow.  How lucky is that?

i think i’ll go buy some lottery tickets…

Here We Go

This next month is going to be so action packed, i get a bit overwhelmed just thinking about it.

Two trips out of town ~ a weekend away with Sir, a business trip with an extra bonus visit to a friend, which makes that trip 5 days long.  {More on the friend later…}

AND my daughter and granddaughter will be here in ~ um, 28 days.  28, take away 7, means 21 actual days to get my basement fully remodeled.  Wallpaper stripped, walls prepped, and painted, new carpet installed.

Yikes.  Omg.  And that’s on top of all the regular stuff I normally do.

More yikes and omg.  And i’m already so far behind in things like answering comments and even answering email, it will be a wonder if i have any friends left when this is over.

And once they get here, they’re staying for several months.  Yes, several.   And yes, i’m so excited i can’t stand it.  i’ll get to hang out with my baby, and get to really know my grand baby, and baby sit and take her to the fair and all that stuff i want to do.

It will be awesome.  But right now, i’m a bit overwhelmed.  Over~frigging~ whelmed.  Wallpaper to strip, paint to select… omg.

Ok.  One step at a time.  Breathing…

It Was a Bug

Yeah.  In the kitchen.  Actually on the coffee maker.  i didn’t see it til it moved.  And then ~ oh, ugh, yuck, yikes, omg.

Don’t judge me,  i hear it can happen in the best regulated of households.

If i could have found a shoe or a phone book or something like that, i would have killed it real quick, but i couldn’t and it moved some more, laughing at me, you know.  It wasn’t a roach, i know that, but it was big and black and ugly and it freaked me out.

So what’s a girl to do?  Sir was sleeping soundly, but an emergency is an emergency, right?  So, keeping one eye on the bug, i call him.  Gently at first.

“Sir?  Sir.”

Then dragging it out to more syllables.  “Ssssss- iiiiiiiirrrrrrr…” and louder, “SIR!” a note of panic rising, and he stumbles out of the bedroom, all sleepy eyed.

“What?” He asks, looking around for the fire.

“Um, look,” i say, “It’s a ~” and my voice goes all high-pitched, girly, i can’t help it, “a BUG!”


“Right there ~ look ~ right there ~ ON the coffee maker ~ omg ~ SEE!  He just MOVED!”

“Oh, yes, oh, yeah, i see.”

And he gets a paper towel and tries to catch it, only of course the ugly creature gets away and Sir has to go back to the bedroom to get his glasses, which tells me how quickly he responded to me, because he never goes anywhere without his glasses.

So i watch for the bug, and sure enough, the sucker moves again, and i ~ um, i might scream, just a little bit.  And i’m holding my breath, Sir comes back, and i’m saying, “There he is, behind the coffee cup, omigod, omigod..” and Sir moves the coffee cup and ~

~ the bug isn’t there, and that’s even worse, i say, “O, no, he got away, omigod, he went down in the counter, omigod, omigod…. ” and Sir can’t help it, he starts laughing.  Yes, laughing.

“It was that last “omigod’ that got me,” He says, still chuckling.  “That last “omigod” was just over the top.”

And he hugs me and kisses the top of my head, and i have to laugh too, i know it’s silly, i can’t help it.  And now i think that bug is living and breeding in my kitchen cabinet and i’ll probably have to get exterminators.

But Sir says, no, it was a back yard bug trying to get to the front yard by cutting through the house, and that we scared him and he won’t do that again.  i think He’s just making that up to make me feel better ~ but that’s ok too.

And He’s still chuckling, just a little bit.  “I’m not laughing at you,” He insists, “It was just that last omigod.  It got me,” and He chuckles a little more.

i will file this under “Early Morning Non-Kink Adventures,” and “Reasons i love Sir.”

A Task

Sir wanted a clipboard.  A simple clipboard.  The wooden kind.  i knew exactly what He was talking about.  He asked me to pick one up for me the next time i went by Staples or Office Depot.

i said, “Sure.  No problem.”

That was on Friday ~ last week.  We had a busy weekend, so He didn’t mention it again, and i forgot all about it.  Monday evening, He says, “Did you get a chance to get me a clipboard?”

“O!  No!  i didn’t.  i’m so sorry!  i forgot all about it!”

“That’s ok,” He says.  “You can get it tomorrow.”

Tuesday.   Work and then a meeting from 7:00 to 8:30 that night.  Home at 9:00.  Tired.

Wednesday morning.  Sir says, “Did you drive up and down Such-and-Such Road yesterday?”

i have to think a second.  “Yes, yeah, yes, Sir, i did.  A couple of times, actually.”

“Did you happen to stop at Staples and get my clipboard?

“No!  O, no!  Omigosh, no, i forgot all… um, i forgot… all… about it.”  Downcast.

“Don’t worry,” He says, kissing the top of my head.  “You’ll pay with your ass.”

Wednesday, i get off work at 5:00, do an errand, come home, unpack some stuff that needs to go in the refrigerator, go back out to the grocery.   i look for a clipboard, a simple wooden clipboard.  They have $5.99 plastic ones.  No.

i come home, unload groceries and put them away.  i’m getting ready to go back out when Sir gets home.  Where am i going?  To get the clipboard..

“No,” He says.  “I told you to stop and get it, not go and get it.  There’s a difference between stopping off on your way to somewhere and going out to go there.”

“O,” i say.  Relieved.  “Ok.  Tomorrow then.”

So, yesterday i go to a Walgreen’s and a Rite-Aid, ~ because they were convenient and it would have saved me time later.  Nope.  Plastic clipboard at one, no clipboard at the other.

Fine.  Staples it is.  And what a lovely array.  Good grief – a zillion clipboards.


We have the $12.99 ones:


And the $3.99 pink plastic one:


Looking, looking, looking, come on, where ARE the wooden ones?


Aha!  There they are!  Yay – $1.99 and just what He wanted.  Thank goodness!  {But i’m pretty sure i will still pay with my ass.}  i carry it home happily.

“Now,” He says, “do you know why i wanted this clipboard?”

“No, Sir,” i say, eager to learn, “What for?”

But He just nods.  “You’ll see,” He says.

Too Cranky for Kink

Ok, there’s really no such thing as “too cranky for kink,” i just like the sound of the title.

Five times in the last week, i’ve had to “share” a brief bio of myself, or introduce myself to a new group and tell them a little about myself.  i now have it down to a cut-and-paste science.

This means that i have five new groups of people or activities that I’ve connected with in the last frigging week.  That is too much for this introvert.  I want to pull my shell up over my head and disappear.

Susan Cain, who wrote  “The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking,” says of introverts:

“It’s as if they have thinner boundaries separating them from other people’s emotions and from the tragedies and cruelties of the world.”

That always sounds a little overly dramatic to me, but still.  There is something to it.  And i’m feeling it today.

And no.  For those of you on the verge of asking if i’ve been thoroughly spanked and soundly fucked lately ~ the answer is ‘no.’  We’ve been busy.    Both of us.

i was going to put in a quote about being busy right here ~ seems appropriate, doesn’t it?  But when i google “quotes busy” i get stuff like this:

“Those who are wise won’t be busy, and those who are too busy can’t be wise.”
― Lin Yutang, The Importance Of Living

Really?  What do you know Lin Yutang?

There’s this:

“Instead of saying “I don’t have time” try saying “it’s not a priority,” and see how that feels. Often, that’s a perfectly adequate explanation. I have time to iron my sheets, I just don’t want to. But other things are harder. Try it: “I’m not going to edit your résumé, sweetie, because it’s not a priority.” “I don’t go to the doctor because my health is not a priority.” If these phrases don’t sit well, that’s the point. Changing our language reminds us that time is a choice. If we don’t like how we’re spending an hour, we can choose differently.”
― Wall Street Journal

Ugh.  That one makes me really uncomfortable ~ of course kink is a priority for me!  THEY just don’t get it.

Or this:

“We all have the same 24/7. What we do with our time becomes our priority. Choose what you do with your time and do not lead a life by default”
― Patt Hollinger Pickett

Dr. Patt calls himself the Marriage Whisperer.  Hmpf.  What does he know?

At least this one is more non-judgmental:

“How come I have too many things to do all the time…??”
― Hiroko Sakai

And this one is perhaps my favorite ~ today, anyhow:

“Busy days galore…thoughts in a kaleidoscope of dervish dances.”
― Al Cash

Ok, Sir just texted me from our basement, where He’s watching Sunday Morning.   No, i’m not kidding.  Texted me to tell me about our plans for the day ~ which are going to be fun.  And delightfully vanilla.  Double vanilla bean.

Yes, i have another installment of Kinky Kastle coming in the morning… but now i’m off and running again.


It looked unreal.  As they showed the video, over and over, the bombs exploding people running from it, first responders running towards it ~



Except of course it was.

And it seemed like it was the kind of thing that happens somewhere else, not here, over there where there’s a war and bombs are part of the daily expectations.



Except of course it was here, and not the first time either.

It creates an ache inside me, the heaviness of sorrow with no place to go.

“We all want to do something to mitigate the pain of loss or to turn grief into something positive, to find a silver lining in the clouds. But I believe there is real value in just standing there, being still, being sad.”
~~ John Green

Some people let the sadness turn to anger in one quick flash, lashing out at whoever-they-already-hate, at whoever-might-be-responsible.  And that makes me sadder.

Often, we’re afraid to feel the sadness, afraid that it will be unbearable.  But feelings just are, and the more we fight them, the more difficult it is.  And really, it is as the poet says ~

“When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”
~~ Kahlil Gibran

My thoughts are in Boston today, with the people injured, with the runners and their families, with the people who died and their loved ones.  If the good in the world is to outweigh the bad, it’s up to us ~ the survivors, the witnesses ~ to make that true.

Our Time

When Sir and i first started dating, not really very long ago, we spent Wednesday and Saturday evenings together.  Just about every week.

On Wednesdays, i’d rush home from work to get ready ~ to get the house ready, myself ready.  On Saturdays, i’d usually take an afternoon nap.  That way, i wouldn’t be ready for bed at 9 o’clock at night.

Back then, i was happy to know that i’d see Him twice a week.  It felt stable and ~ kind of reassuring ~ to know we’d have that time together.  It was time carved out of the mundane for each other.

Almost a year ago, we started living together,  and of course we have much more time together.   i love that ~ don’t misunderstand me.  i love knowing He comes home here each night.  i love waking up in the morning and knowing that He’ll be getting up soon.  i love sleeping next to Him.


You know how i am.  i want more.  i want us to carve out some time for us.  i want time for us to focus on us and not get lost in the whatever of our days.

Saturday night is the logical time.  That means i need to do some things differently.

  • i need to take a nap in the afternoon.  That means i can’t routinely schedule stuff all day Saturday.  That means instead of feeling guilty about taking a nap, i need to recognize it’s part of the plan
  • i need to take the time to do whatever preparations are necessary, whether it’s the house or myself.
  • i need to share this thought ~ this idea ~ with Sir and see if He’s willing to try it.  We could decide ahead of time how we spend our time ~ sometimes we have plans, and that’s fun too.  But whatever we do, the focus would be on each other as much as an activity.

Maybe i’m trying to be too structured?  Maybe i should let it be more organic and just happen?  But i don’t think it will.

What do youall do?