Monthly Archives: March 2013

Reason 297

Reason 297 that i love Sir that is.

i got a little concerned about Sir’s reaction to my last couple of posts.  He hadn’t said anything, so i asked Him what He thought about the first one ~ you know, the one where i talked about wanting “more” and being greedy.

“Impatient,” He says.

“Impatient?”

“Yep,” He says, “It had ‘Impatient” written all over it.” Which makes me giggle, because yes, of course, there is that.

Then when he read the second one, He says, “Didn’t complain at all?  You hurrumped.  i heard you.”

Which also makes me giggle.  And i have to agree, yes i probably had, you know, made some tiny noise signifying that i didn’t really want to go to the store.  However.

Impatient.  Yeah, i guess i can be that ~ sometimes, maybe, i am that.  It sounds nicer than greedy anyhow.  And all things come to she who waits, right?

It’s Easter morning, and i’ve felt a bit sad, mourning Easters past.   Bunnies and hIdden baskets, children’s shrill voices, ham baking, dyed eggs, lots of chocolate and new hats.  None of that is happening here.

Sir is not Christian, and i barely am.  My family is either out of town, or not celebrating the holiday.  {There is a sports thing going on that takes precedence for some of them.}  His daughter and grandchildren will come over later, and that will be lovely.  But it is my first Easter with them, and i know that creating and blending family traditions take time.

Whatever it is will be lovely.  i know that.  i’ve already cried a bit for days gone by and i’m ready for a wonderful new day.   Hoping yours is All That too!!!

Yes, But…

Sin asked me a couple of questions yesterday about my post – did i want Sir to be different, the relationship to be different, or myself to be different?  Good questions.  {Thank you, Sin, for making me think twice yesterday.}

Then she noted that i sound really happy, which is super true.

So, sometimes i think i want to be dominated more fiercely, to have rules i have to adhere to or i’m in big trouble, to have restrictions and requirements.  But.

i think my Sir is perfect just the way He is, and perfect for me.  And my life is going really well.  And really, really, i don’t know that it could be any better than it is.

So when i think about it later, i’m like, um, no, maybe not.

i don’t have particular rules in mind that i wish He’d impose on me, i think i want Him to want to impose some rules on me, but ones that HE wants, not just because i ask Him to make some up.

But if He doesn’t, then that’s how He is, and isn’t He the one that gets to set the rules for our relationship?  Yeah, i’m pretty sure that’s how that works.

Which means it’s up to me to serve and please as best i can.  Like last night, when i didn’t really want to stop at the grocery on the way home, but He wanted ice cream, so i stopped.   No complaining either, i just did it.

That is not as much fun as having my orgasms controlled.  Maybe.  But do i really want them controlled?  Probably not.

See what i’m saying?

We are both kind of “go with the flow” people.  He’s very zen.   Why would i want to change that about Him?

“The beginning of love is the will to let those we love be perfectly themselves, the resolution not to twist them to fit our own image.”
― Thomas MertonThe Way of Chuang Tzu

Power Exchange

i think that my relationship with Sir is more than kinky, more than in the bedroom.  i think we have a power exchange, and i want that.  But i am so comfortable these days.

i’m not sure if that’s because we’ve settled into being together so nicely that the relationship fits me like a glove, or if it’s because He’s so easy-going that it’s too easy.

i know, i’m back to that again.

The problem ~ ok, it’s not a problem ~ the thing is, He’s so easy-going, and i’m pretty low-maintenance, so He makes few demands, and i don’t mind conceding when He asks me too.  He doesn’t have to control my money, or my activities, or my moods.  He doesn’t have a list of rules and restrictions.

Which is all good, yes of course it is, i know that.

It means we flow through our days ~ and nights ~ with pleasure and connectedness.  Driving home yesterday, i was floating in happiness, grateful that i was going home to Him.

And yet.

And yet.

There is something in me that wants more.  More of the quick drop on the roller coaster.  More of that sense of being powerless.  More of Him taking, demanding, ordering.

i am a greedy girl.

Floating Fantasies II

i have another school fantasy.

In this one, at the end of each day, after their baths but before bed, the students line up to receive any punishment they may have earned during the day. These are adult students you know, not children.

They line up in the hallway, about 15 students at a time, but there are three rooms, and quickly they’re dispersed, five to a room.

Ada gets the middle room, she hates the middle room. The Master in the middle room is the harshest of them all, and he seems to enjoy it the most. He’s young too, and really nice-looking, and she might have a little bit of a crush on him, which just makes it worse.

The drill is the same every night. He reads the list of infractions for each student, one at a time. There are rewards too, things they get points for, so sometimes a student might get off with only a few licks.

Ada thinks she must be the most disobedient of them all. Tonight, she is going to get 20 licks, but her ass is still sore from the night before, and the night before that. This is her third night in a row to earn more demerits than rewards, and she is humiliated that it has been with this Master each time.

“Ada,” he says, sounding surprised,, and reproachful. “I thought you told me you wouldn’t be back for a while. What happened?”

Ada drops her eyes, she can’t face his kindness. ”I can’t keep my mouth closed,” she says. ”I just ~ I get smart. I can’t seem to help it.”

“Well, bend over,” He says, “and let’s pull your skirt up. There you go. Yes, you still have some marks from yesterday. I’m going to use the ruler tonight. But I’ll wait, I’ll save you for last. I want you to just stay right there and think about what’s coming to you while I take care of the others.”

Ada waits, bent over the back of the couch, while he administers the licks to the other students. She can hear them squealing and whimpering, some of them cry and beg him to stop. She wiggles a little, knowing it will be her turn too soon.

She wonders if the other students have the same problem she has ~ when the Master punishes her, it makes her ~ well, it makes her hot. Hot between her legs, and wet too. When she goes back to her room, she always touches herself there until she feels a big rush of pleasure. She’s never told anyone this, and doesn’t think she ever could.

At last, all the other students have been disciplined and sent on to bed. Ada can feel her cheeks tightening at the thought of the whipping she’s about to get. Instead the Master tells her to stand up.

“Look at me,” he says, “Ada, The Masters agreed in our staff meeting today that the usual punishment does not seem to be helping you correct your behavior. Rather than keep doing what doesn’t work, we’ve decided to try a new strategy. We talked about expelling you…” he pauses, and Ada gasps, imagining the disgrace of being sent home.

“Yes,” says the Master, “But we didn’t want to give up on you just yet. Rather than going that far, we’re going to try a more radical punishment. Instead of whipping your backside, we’re going to whip ~ well, your front side.”

He pauses to let this sink in, and the flush on her face deepens as she begins to suspect what’s in store in for her. ”My ~ my front side?’ Her voice trembles.

“Yes, Ada,” he looks almost as if he feels sorry for her, but, “Between your legs, on the inside of your thighs, and your most delicate parts too. But don’t worry, I won’t harm you. We just want you to learn to be properly obedient. A good girl.”

“Now,” he says, and his voice is brisker, “Hop up here on the table. There’s a step stool here, you can use it.”

“But ~ but ~” she hesitates ~ no, really he can’t be serious.

“Come now, quickly,” he says, “Or I shall have to call for some of the other ~” and he breaks off as the door opens. One of the other Masters and a Headmistress come in.

“Giving you a hard time, is she, David?” asks Mistress Jane.

“Just a bit,” he says. ”I think she’ll do fine once she realizes we’re serious. Now, Ada, no more dawdling. Up on the table.”

Thinking she might die of embarrassment, but not sure what else to do, Ada steps up and seats herself on the edge of the long rectangular table. Master David says, “No, turn this way, yes, now scoot down a bit, yes, like that, now lie back,”

and she does as he directs her to do, finding herself on her back with her legs dangling off the end of the table. Her skirt has scooted up in the back, but is covering her thighs in the front.

Quite suddenly, Mistress Jane grabs Ada’s skirt at the hem and flips it up so Ada is completely exposed. At almost the same moment, Master David grasps one of her feet and the other Master, whose name she does not know, takes the other. With a quick movement, they push her knees back toward her chest.

Horrified, Ada realizes her private parts are totally exposed, and there is no escape from what is about to happen.

******************

Wait ~ i don’t even know where that whole last part came from ~ that’s new for me. Yikes!

Also, i had a ton of visitors yesterday ~ thanks to Bonnie, at My Bottom Smarts, who was kind enough to mention me {waves…} Thank you very much ~ to Bonnie, and to all the people who visited.

This entry was posted in punishment, spanking on March 28, 2013. Edit

Attitude

Having issued the 50 Day challenge earlier today, I got to thinking about bodies and body image, unrealistic expectations, photoshopped models, anorexia, and so on.  This song came to mind ~ it represents where i am, for the most part…

But then i am a person who didn’t know what “spanks” were in any context other than ~ well, you know ~ getting spanked!!  Apparently, you can encase pretty much your entire body in some spandex creation that will ~ well, i guess it kind of shrink-wraps you, right?

i would rather sing “All the Wrinkled Ladies” than actually wear Spanx, and am hoping that by summer, i won’t exactly need to be compressed.  i may not be skinny, slender, svelte  at my target weight by then, but i will at least have firm fat.

The Challenge

i’ve been trying to lose weight.  Not trying real hard like when you actually make major changes in your eating habits and stick to it, but thinking a lot about it and putting some effort into it sometimes.   {Please do not feel a need to tell me to try Diet X, Y, or Z.  i’m pretty sure i already know about it.}

But i have been getting back into exercising.  Me and Leslie Sansone {of video workout fame} are walking together in the mornings ~ she LOVES it when i decide to walk with her.  She says so during the cool down every day.

So yesterday, when ‘Nilla offered to let me join her in the 50 Day Challenge, i was open to the idea.

“It’s easy,” she says.  “You can do it.”

What do we have to do? i ask.

Every day for 50 days, we have to do:

~ 50 sit-ups

~ 50 push-ups

~ 25 jumping jacks AND

~ A two-minute plank

After i pick myself up off the floor, where i’d been rolling with laugher, i say, “A two-minute plank???  i don’t even know what that IS, much less think i can do it.”

No worries, she assures me, you can do the modified version, and she describes the position.   In case you are as ignorant as i was, here it is:

Yoga_PlankPose_300x350But ~ jumping jacks?  i can’t do jumping jacks.  Nope, no way.  i have a knee issue.   i offered to do a blog post every day instead, but she wasn’t having that.

No, no, she says, no worries, you can do 15 minutes of cardio instead.

Fifteen minutes of cardio instead of 25 jumping jacks?  That seems like a harsh trade-off, but hey, Leslie’s already got me walking under her thumb, i guess that qualifies as a cardio workout.  Ok, i can do that.

Sit-ups are bad for your back, i hear, but ‘Nilla says i can do crunches instead of sit-ups, yes, that’s fine. And push-ups ~ when the mere idea of me doing push-ups sends me into gales of laughter ~ she assures me i can do them against the wall or off a counter.  Ok.  i guess.

That leaves me with the plank.  i bet even the modified version is not as easy as it looks.  It kind of makes my arms ache just looking at it.   So i’ve decided another substitution is in order.

Spanks instead of planks.  Yes.  Instead of assuming that position for two minutes every day, Sir will spank me for two minutes every day.

i had to check with Him before i could commit to that, and He seemed a little skeptical.  Like that would be more exercise for Him than for me.  But finally He said sure, i just need to get Him up two minutes early every day.

i can do that.

If you miss a day, you have to set aside a dollar.  i’m not sure what you do with the dollars at the end, but i’m thinking that ‘go shopping,’ or ‘go out for dinner’ is not the right answer.   i’ll have to check back with ‘Nilla on that.

April 1st.  That’s when the good times start.  If you want to play too, feel free to join the fun.  If you let me know in the comments, then we can cheer each other on.  Or hold each other up, whichever seems more appropriate.

Floating Fantasies

There’s a school room fantasy.

i should tell you, i had these fantasies long before i was involved in kink, long before i imagined that i would be with someone who would really spank me.  i have always used them as part of the path to sexual satisfaction, {um, orgasm} but secretly for most of my life.  So i have lots of long standing fantasies, snippets of scenarios.

i’m not all about spanking, don’t get that idea.  i’m into power exchange and other aspects of BDSM, but it’s like Sir says, spanking is truly a fetish for me.  Here’s a bit of fantasy:

A student is told to come to the front of the room.  She’s in trouble for something she did earlier in the day.  The teacher can be male or female, it doesn’t matter. He or she is holding a pointer, about the length and diameter of a curtain rod.

They instruct the student to bend over a desk, which is there for that purpose.  She has to lean across the desk, and grasp the other side of it.

The teacher uses the pointer to raise the girl’s skirt.  She is not wearing panties.   Not allowed to.

The teacher slaps the pointer against their own hand a few times, and says, “Class!  This student refused to follow directions.  She was disobedient and talked back to a Master this morning.  I’m sorry to have to interrupt your lessons to punish her, but disobedience and rudeness are unacceptable.”

“She will get 20 licks and remain on display for about an hour, until our 2:00 break.”

The pointer whistles a bit as the teacher swings it, right before it lands on the student’s ass.   A red line appears almost immediately, and the teacher waits until the mark is visible before drawing back for the next strike.

*************************

Hmmm.  i guess that’s another exhibitionist one, isn’t it?  i don’t know what Sir will say about that.

It’s funny ~ i had a blog before, and Sir didn’t read my posts, at least He hardly ever did.  Now He does, and i like that a lot, but it makes me wonder how He’s going to react.  It doesn’t make me write anything different, i’m not censoring, it just makes me wonder.