I was reading some other people’s blogs yesterday – i haven’t even been doing that lately, or barely doing it, so it was nice to get back into finding out what’s going on with old friends, and meeting new folks. Thinking about bloggers i’ve lost track of, like Sin – Sin, are you out there? And ~ o, i can’t remember her name, damn it. She was a slave and a writer… damn.
Anyhow. i looked at some stories – the Agnes and Fredrick series that are so lovely. I tried to find some that Vesta had written about a training school type scenario – the last part that i remember has the heroine writing lines as a punishment – or a teaching device – something about being her Master’s property. And there’s a part where she’s required to lift her skirt to sit at the table that has always stuck with me. Some other parts too, only i couldn’t find them, and i don’t really know if i’m remembering them right.
What i do remember ~ and this is true for the Agnes and Fredrick series too ~ is that they move so slowly ~ so mindfully ~ and that gives them so much power for me. That is the kind of D/s i crave. i want to absorb each moment of what’s happening.
When i was reading back through some of Vesta’s posts, i found one from 2013 where she’s going to confront her husband and let him know that she really needs him to do something to be able to re-engage in kink with her. (i think i’m probably not describing the post well, and Vesta is so deliberate in her wording that i need to link to the post here.) But i thought, i could have written this ~ well, not written it, but i thought, this is where i’m standing.
Truly, there is nothing new under the sun.
And i thought about things yesterday. i remembered a long time ago, a Dom i used to talk to who said if i were his slave, he would keep me naked all the time ~ in the house, that is ~ so that he would remember i was a slave. At the time, i was equally appalled and attracted.
i think about writing fantasy ~ actually i’ve been thinking about finishing some old stories i started a long time ago and making them Amazon e-books. It’s the kind of thing i think about doing and don’t follow up on. They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but i mostly have good ideas that just bounce around in my brain and don’t lead anywhere.
And my WordPress app is not cooperating with me today. i’m using my ipad, and this bar pops up across the bottom of the screen that blocks two or three lines ~ the ones i’m working on usually. Stupid app.
i had this idea that some external discipline would help me follow up on doing things that i need to do. Not that my Sir would have to check on my progress ~ although maybe that too ~ but that being spanked, having rules and rituals, would put me in a different headspace. That the vanilla part of me would be better able to stay on track, would function a bit better.
But maybe not, and maybe how i function is really the best it can be. i dunno. It’s a super rainy, stormy Sunday here. A good day for brooding and ruminating. Except ~ o, wait ~ i have a long list of things i didn’t already get done that need attention today.
And it’s not like i don’t function fine, i do. Maybe i’m just greedy, always wanting more. But we submissive girls are like that, aren’t we?