Where’s the Sub List?

The ideal submissive list, that is.  The submissive counterpart to the description of the qualities we should look for in a dominant – is there one?  Or more than one?

What would it look like?  Would it be helpful to have one?  Do Dominants just already know this stuff and therefore not need a list?  Does the Dominant checklist read:

–  Whatever I want

–  Whatever i want

–  Whatever I want

Or does it have actual items –

–  Not crazy

–  Willing to do whatever I tell her/him to do

I’m pretty sure that Dumb Domme has at least one list of things she looks for in a submissive, but I think they’re pretty specific to her and not a general guideline for new Dominants.

Of course, i don’t hang out on Fetlife much, so maybe there are lots of lists.  I just can”t imagine Dominants using somebody else’s list to guide them in finding a submissive.  So – if there are lists – I imagine that submissives use them to see if we measure up to whatever-standards-are-out-there.

What do you think?

6 thoughts on “Where’s the Sub List?

  1. a sub's missives

    This is an interesting question and started me researching. There are lots of sub lists out there, but the best are the specific ones from our own Dominants so that we are sure to please Him/Her and fullfill His/Her kinks.

  2. jadescastle

    there is some stunningly bizarre list of 238 slave rules or something. i don’t know that this is what you had in mind, however. Maybe we should write one together and have Dominants chime in??

  3. Cara

    I don’t know that there is ONE sub list. I mean, every Dominant is different. The Dominant who is majorly turned on by watching his sub use the bathroom might put “lets me watch her pee” and “keeps a journal of when she goes potty” at the top of that list, while the hardcore sadist is gonna put “PAIN SLUT” (just like that in all caps) at the top of the list.

  4. Jz

    As a person who pretty much never identifies with what’s on any “list” anyhow, I actually think these things are more harmful than useful. They create dissatisfaction (or depression or confusion) and can foster the dread “Better submissive” syndrome…
    They’re interesting and fun, for sure, but more in a Cosmopolitan quiz kind of way…
    You can’t take any of them to heart.
    You have to be yourself and you have to find someone who wants you the way you are.
    Persnicketiness and all! (Don’t ask me how I know this!) :-p

  5. abby

    I giggled and laughed imagining me telling Master…you can’t do that it is not on the sub list….Oh my. Plus my list would have to be amended often.
    hugs abby


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