i think He thinks that once we’ve had a conversation about whatever it is that’s bothering me, and He’s told me what He’s going to do, and we’ve got a plan…
I think He thinks that once we’ve done that, that’s enough. He’s done His part, and the problem is solved. Even though he hasn’t done any of the things he’s hinted, suggested, or promised that he’s going to do.
I think that because I don’t nag or bitch or prod or remind or nudge, He thinks the problem doesn’t exist anymore. That i’m perfectly content ~ or as content as anyone can be ~ with The Way Things Are.
Maybe He’s right. In a way, He is right. i’m not miserable, depressed, unhappy or even discontent most of the time. i’m a fairly happy person.
But the problem is still there. It has not gone away.
i remind myself ~ here and now ~ that this is only a problem for me. If it were a problem for Him, He would be taking steps to address it. Really, trust me, He would.
It’s painful to recognize this, but important to see clearly. It’s not the most terrible, horrible, awful thing that ever happened to me. It’s just painful, and only some of the time.
I don’t know where we’re going. All I can do is take the next step.
“Letting there be room for not knowing is the most important thing of all. When there’s a big disappointment, we don’t know if that’s the end of the story. It may just be the beginning of a great adventure. Life is like that. We don’t know anything. We call something bad; we call it good. But really we just don’t know.”