Level Two Question from Lady Elsa

Level 2: Your Relationship. Who decides how much time you will spend together and what you will do with that time? Who assigns the labels, if any? Who decides when you will move to the next level of commitment? Who decides when the current dynamic isn’t working and needs tweaking?

1.  {IRL}  i guess we both decide how much time we spend together and how we use the time.  We both work at home in the evening often, companionably together.  i can suggest we do something different, and He may or may not agree to do it with me, but He doesn’t tell me i can’t do whatever it is i want to do.  So, for example, there could be a workshop or lecture or gathering that i would like for us to go to.  i tell Him about it, and invite Him to come.  He may or may not agree to attend, but even if He doesn’t go, He won’t mind if i go.  If it’s something that i feel comfortable going to by myself, then i’ll do it.  When we’re both at home, He has the option to decide what we do with our time, but He doesn’t usually tell me what to do.

Our level of commitment isn’t likely to change ~ neither of us wants to get married ~ and we both intend to stay together monogamously.  i am not collared, and if He wanted to collar me, He’d be the one to initiate that and lead us through some conversation about what that would mean.   i don’t think He feels a need or a desire to do that.

As for deciding our dynamic needs tweaking ~ um, i can decide that all day long, and can share those thoughts with Him.  But that’s about all i can do.  Whether or not anything changes, and how it changes, is apparently up to Him.  Clearly up to Him.  i guess i could nag and bitch and try to push Him to make changes, but He’s a fairly stubborn man pretty solidly who He is.  He would listen and express understanding and then do whatever He thinks is best.  i could elicit some reaction from Him at some point, i suppose, but it would probably not be the reaction i want.

2.  {IMD}  i think i would like it if He were more directive with my time, but i might just think that.  If it really happened, i might be less than thrilled.  What i would definitely like is for Him to tweak our relationship the way i want Him to.  To add more control, more ritual, more protocol, and more kink.  Yep.

And i guess if i could make Him do that, then He would no longer be the Dominant. If i could talk Him into doing it my way, then i’d be upset about topping from the bottom, and i’d never know if it was really what He wanted and that would just be a different set of problems.

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5 thoughts on “Level Two Question from Lady Elsa

    1. sofia Post author

      Exactly.

      Actually, now that I think about it, i’ve never been in a relationship where i could change how the other person was. i’ve wasted time trying, particularly when i was younger, but it never really worked. Hmmmm.

      Reply
  1. Master Michael S

    “Be careful what you for” curse… 🙂 I’ve seen that look a time or two on slave angie’s face. You’re not alone in wondering that.

    One of the things I do when we are trying to decide what to do, is there are sometimes when I am going to use her to decide. That’s what’s going to make my life easier or more comfortable. So I tell her “your service is to decide on what is for dinner tonight. That will please me.” It’s interesting to watch the shifts go across her face as she processes that. And… it works 🙂 Reframing is an excellent tool.

    Reply
    1. sofia Post author

      Right, i know how you Dominants (with all due respect) have a way of flipping things so it ~ well, so it works out the way you want it to! It’s a classic Dom move… 🙂 Thanks for the reminder.

      Reply

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