Dinner

I’m supposed to go to a dinner tonight – it’s a volunteer appreciation thing. i don’t want to go. But i said i would. So i guess i will.

Sigh.

i went to the zoo today, just to walk and relax. i don’t know why i thought that was a good idea. The animals made me sad, all cooped up and hot and bored. The happy children reminded me of mine, and reminded me that i will have 2 grandkids i can’t take to the zoo. (Because it’s really important that they get to see the unhappy animals, right?  🙂  )

Whine, whine, wine… But really. i am just frigging depressed.  i can tell because everything is sad.  And i know that for real, NOT everything is sad.

Right?

It’s ok to be sad.  But maybe i haven’t been doing the things that i know are helpful.

Fuck.

Ok.  Fine.  There’s no reason to think that some kink thing is going to happen that will make me feel better.  It’s up to me.  You know, life is what it is.  Trying to act like it’s something different is just not helpful.

Guess i’d better get busy taking care of myself.  But later, maybe tomorrow, i’m going to do a fantasy about what i wish would happen…

P.S.  i know i need to answer comments too.  If i were a better person, i would have already done that.  Can’t tell you how much i appreciate them.

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6 thoughts on “Dinner

  1. little monkey

    Answering comments has nothing to do with how good a person you are, and more to do with what you are able to handle each day. Some days we can handle more than others. If you won’t cut yourself a break about the comments, I will. No reply needed, sweety.

    Reply
  2. Betsy T

    I’m sorry you are feeling bad. I hate that! When I feel out of sorts I try to tell myself it will pass because I know it eventually will. Sometimes it helps to force yourself to go out and socialize but sometimes not. I wish I had more sage advice but I do understand how you are feeling and hope it passes quickly.

    Hugs,
    Betsy

    Reply
  3. faithfulreader2

    Ditto to all of it and yanno- sometimes we all get in a funk. I tend to isolate myself (big time) and with Master being across the country it is easy for me to just work work work and not really do anything fun. Be around other adults and have to smile and laugh- No thank you!

    With regard to the kink or lack of it- gosh it is hard isn’t it?. Some days I get so mad at him, at the situation. “Hey you.. you are the one that opened me up to all of this and now there is nothing!” Of course I say that all in my mind- for a number of reasons -mostly because mentally he has such a long way to go 😦 and also because occasionally the Master in him does come out, but it is far and few between. I love him with my heart and soul and that ultimately is what keeps me going every day.

    So I guess I am rambling but wanted you to know that I understand and you are not alone.
    Not that misery loves company, but I get it. I really do.

    ~faithful

    Reply
  4. vanillamom

    Seriously? ! If you were a better person? Geeze woman. ..sometimes my comments wait several weeks. . Wait, wsit a minute…….I know what’s going on here. ..you’re vieing for the golden slut bigger award aren’t you? The one that all perfect slut bloggers get. The one for people who writes cheery replies the same day they are written. Amirite?? You bitch!!!! (J/k!!)

    And Yanno… if you go bein all perfect we can’t hang out. Coz I am so SO so not perfect–

    And then where would I be? Lonely. And on the drama triangle for sure. Nods. Yup. Shake It off babers. I need you. .. like You. …. love you. ..just as you are.

    Nilla

    Reply

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