Body Work

So i’ve been doing some – we’ll call it “body work” – some therapeutic work that focuses on my body rather than my thoughts or feelings.  (No, that’s not a euphemism for some kind of special sex, it really is a form of therapy.)

Anyhow.  i’ve noticed some interesting things.   Part of this bodywork involves doing a series of exercises, and the instructions were that i was not supposed to do anything to the point of pain – in fact, on a scale of 1-10, a ten was the beginning of pain, and i was supposed to keep my comfort level between a 5 and a 7.  So high enough that i could feel some tension, but well short of real discomfort.

i discovered that when i start doing exercise, i “check out” to some extent.  My mind goes somewhere else.  So when she would say, “What level are you at now?” or “Where’s your comfort level?”  i would have to mentally check back in to pay attention to where my level was.  

It is difficult for me to “self-regulate” my body.  i do that pretty well with thoughts and feelings, but tell me to do an exercise until i hit between 5 and 7?  I don’t actually know how to do that.

It occurs to me after the first session that most of the things people tell us to do with our bodies involves pain.  Do you know what i mean?   It was that way for me anyhow, growing up.  Or it seems like it… Even now, i think that maybe 90% of the time, if someone else tells me to do something with my body, it is going to be uncomfortable, unpleasant, or downright painful.  

And that’s what i’m wondering – what is that like for you?  Things i can think of – just about anything at the doctor’s office.  Most exercise regimes, while you’re doing them, if someone else is directing it.  Oh, massage therapy is an exception (yay!!)  i’m not including D/s  sex in this, but often in vanilla sex, in my experience, if someone was directing me, it was often not so pleasant for me as it could have been.  Maybe that’s just me.  But i was ok with that, really, mostly.

i don’t know.  Maybe this is too intimate to talk about here.  But you know, i wonder.

Anyhow.  i think i am going to become lots more in touch my with body as i go along here.  It’s kind of exciting.





7 thoughts on “Body Work

  1. Jz

    Well, I hate to start off the discussion with a differing opinion, but I am highly conscious of the state of my body.Largely Oblivious to the world around me, but pretty well tuned in to what this thing I live in is doing…

    I think I got lucky on this because I was thrown into dance lessons while I was very young (3) and I had a teacher who taught us how to listen… to the music, to our bodies, to our surroundings. (Dancer’s frame)
    As a result, altho’ I am profoundly aware that some things are going to leave me hurting (I, for one, am convinced it is literally possible to DIE of an overly-exercised butt,) my first response is actually the joy of the challenge — and how to get there without injury.

    (i’m sorry…)

  2. sofia Post author

    No, Jz, don’t apologize AT ALL. i’m not looking for agreement, i want to hear what other’s people’s experiences are. For sure, I want to hear as wide a range as possible. So thank you for sharing your experience!!


  3. greengirliam

    I teach people to learn their bodies, how they feel and how they move and how to make them move. I also teach other people how to teach people this. I’m pretty good at doing this, but I’ve always thought that i should know much more than i do about the connection between body and mind, how learning and controlling one’s body impacts one’s mind, and vice versa. Fascinating. I hope you enjoy this endeavor and find it worthwhile.

  4. sofia Post author

    That’s very cool, Gg! How did i not know this about you? Not that it matters… but thanks for commenting on this!! It is fascinating, isn’t it? And of course, i come to it from the “mind” side, but more and more i’m beginning to recognize how vital it is to involve body when i do trauma work with people.

    It is super interesting to me that this heightened awareness of my body, and increased recognition that it’s MINE to control has – maybe – for the last few days – really increased my awareness of when i’m eating compulsively and how i seem to be able to manage that more easily, even when some kind of shame has kicked in.

    i have lots more thoughts about this (you know how i am) but maybe i will save them for a blogpost…

    Thanks for commenting!!

  5. jadescastle

    i think the intersection between mind and body is of intense importance. The difference between being triggered and melting down, and being triggered and moving through it, is entirely based on how well i can stay inside of my body. The easy thing is to move all of the way out or sit in your own head for a long time. The trick, for me, was actively engaging in my body to stay in all of it. It pushes your heart rate back down, lets you focus on breathe, lets you not engage in fight-flight-freeze stuff. So, yes, it’s interesting that without working at it, the body itself can become suppressed at giving clear signals. i hope you are able to write more on this topic. Yet another reason why i love your brilliant mind! 😀

  6. Donna Fisk

    I equate this to the eBook versus paper book controversy. Of course I would, right? Anyway, it’s not an either/or situation for me. Different things work in different situations.
    There are times when it works best for me to be totally focused on my body, interpreting pain levels carefully and taking into account the energy expenditure and eventual “cost” of an activity. So my mind is totally engaged and an active participant.
    When it comes to being a sexual submissive and serving my Master, my mind has to turn off and my total purpose must be to serve. The Code d”Odalisque is a step beyond my being or comfort level, but I have learned a great deal about submission and being a receptive vessel from the works and that led me to trusting my Master enough to let my mind go during our scenes. For a Type A outside of the BDSM world, that was quite a trick for me to learn. 🙂
    To engage my mind more in sexual and BDSM endeavors, minimizes the experience for me. I suppose that’s a sign that I truly am a sexual submissive.

    PS On the food thing, I’m still struggling there. Hahaha!


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