i am better today.

All may not be over.  Or else i’m back in denial/bargaining stages of grief.  Whatever.

It’s a new day.

“Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all.”
― Emily Dickinson

Thich Naht Hahn says:

“Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.”

Pema Chodron, however, sees hope in a different light.  She says:

“Without giving up hope—that there’s somewhere better to be, that there’s someone better to be—we will never relax with where we are or who we are.”


Hope and fear come from feeling that we lack something; they come from a sense of poverty. We can’t simply relax with ourselves. We hold on to hope, and hope robs us of the present moment. We feel that someone else knows what is going on, but that there is something missing in us, and therefore something is lacking in our world.”
― Pema Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times

Ok, so you’re probably tired of my quotes by now, and hoping that i’ll answer some more questions real soon, which i will.  Thank you to everyone who commented, emailed, or just sent good thoughts in our direction.  It is deeply appreciated.

Here’s my final (someone else’s) thought for the day: 

“Listen to the mustn’ts, child. Listen to the don’ts. Listen to the shouldn’ts, the impossibles, the won’ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me… Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.”
― Shel Silverstein

22 thoughts on “Better…

  1. greengirliam

    I love your quotes actually…. I’m so glad to hear you are feeling better. I know that ‘in the moment’ is a good thing – but i think sometimes a view of the longer arc of things helps too. I’m hoping for the best for both of you (hoping, maybe in a different way than your quotes – hoping in the sense of wishing it for you with whatever impact that might have on the universe).

  2. abby

    I am glad you are better today. I am a big quote person, hung a different one on my classroom door very day. One day at a time is sometimes all we can manage.
    hugs abby

    1. sofia Post author

      Thank you, Abby – glad you’re a quote person too! Yeah, that one day at a time thing… sigh. Working on it. Thanks!

  3. vanillamom

    some days its just better to huddle in bed with a peanut butter fluff sandwich and a cuppa. no worries, it is just part of the wheel of life. you know…the flat kinda unpleasant part of the wheel that sometimes gets stuck in wet icky life-mud. (ergo bed/fluff sandwich)…


    1. sofia Post author

      Thanks, ‘nilla. i’ll pass on the peanut butter fluff, but other than that – yes!! And yeah. It is that pesky wheel of life… 🙂

      1. Jz

        Fluffernutters are the grease on the cogs of life.
        I hope I’m not going to have to learn to make fluffernutter ice cream to teach you this… ;-D

        1. sofia Post author

          Yes, Jz, i think you had better learn to make fluffernutter ice-cream, because i have NO idea what it is. So, yes, PLEASE and thank you.. 🙂

  4. jadescastle

    i think you saved the best quote for last! 🙂

    New Q and A:
    Just one sentence…
    Can you think of one sentence that has been:
    1. The most erotic anyone has ever said to you?
    2. The most genuine?
    3. That best captured who you are in words?

    much love, always, j

      1. innocuous37

        so now I'”m curious, do you love that about me because you also hate him, or because you love that I spoke up and said so, or because you just always have something nice to say about everyone?

        1. sofia Post author

          Omg, sin, you make me laugh sometimes. No, I don’t hate Shel Silverstein, although I can understand that he might be too cutesy or too saccharin for some people. And no, I’m not actually obliged to say something nice about everyone. But you are a truth-teller, your own truth always, and like many truth tellers, you have a sharp edge. I’m sure I wouldn’t like that if I thought that sharp edge were directed personally at me, but i figure Shel Silverstein can handle it. And so you throw that comment out there, in the middle of everybody’s supportive niceness and it makes me laugh. It is so very you. That’s why I said it. 🙂

  5. Lady P

    Dear Sofia
    You’re writing again!!!
    I had almost given up on checking your blog and suddenly I seek it out and you’re writing again!! I missed you in the blogosphere! Yes – YOU!
    I read about your pain and mourning. I mourn with you. I sympathize. I recognize it in my own life. I miss it too – the click of submission.
    And even in your pain and sorrow you give to us – the blog community. Because you have your very special, wonderful ways of describing feelings connected to BDSm, even when you’re feeling the loss of submission.
    Thank you. Very much.
    If we were friends in real life, i would kiss your forehead and hold your hands.

    1. sofia Post author

      Dear LadyP,

      If we were friends in real life, we would be having tea and commiserating with each other! It’s so good to hear from you. And you make me feel all warm and fuzzy good. Thank you for sharing my pain. Now i will have to keep writing forever, thanks to your kind words.



      1. Lady P

        I just love that word – commiserating! It doesn’t exist in my native language, but it’s a good word. A word that describes sharing of pain and misery.
        So – I´m reminded of the joy of being fluent in more than one language. That´s a gift too.
        And yes – you have to keep writing. It helps you – and us!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s