4. Do you believe in past lives? If so, do you think you have known your Sir in a previous life?
I used to not believe in past lives. Now, i’m not sure. i think that probably our souls are recycled, so yeah, i guess i do. And on some level, i know that i’m an old soul. So i must believe in them.
i have no idea if Sir and i knew each other, i don’t really have a sense of that. And i’m a bit skeptical of people who remember their past lives. Not saying they don’t, but i take it with a grain of salt.
5. What kind of love languages do you speak?
The five languages are: Words of affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. i think the one i give the most of is Words of affirmation, and i guess that’s the one i like receiving most too. For Sir, i like doing acts of service, but i don’t think that’s really my go-to for other people. i need physical touch, and Sir is always ready to wrap His body around me at night when we’re going to sleep. i love that.
I always think that Receiving gifts is low on my list, but I also get a big thrill out of it when someone gives me something. And Quality time is big on my list too – giving and getting. But yeah, words of affirmation are first.
6. What have you learned about yourself from being in a D/s relationship?
Wow, that’s a hard one. i’ve learned a lot, but i don’t know if i can articulate it well.
I’ve learned that i don’t have to hide who i am – that i can be genuine on this kind of deep level and it’s ok. The world doesn’t end, people don’t run screaming into the night.
i’ve learned that being submissive doesn’t mean losing myself. It means being more of who i am.
I’ve learned that rigid categories and rules about how things are supposed to be are not really so helpful. That being open to the universe and possibility is more important than adhering to other people’s expectations. Like believing that having an orgasm is the goal of intimate sexual activity – and learning that is not necessarily the case, but that sexual intimacy is more complex and interesting than that.
i’ve gotten better about asking for what i want ~ i’m still not great at it, but better than i used to be. i’m better able to recognize that i really don’t have to do everything on my own, that it’s ok to need. And i’ve learned that i really do have a need to submit, even when the need is not being met, and maybe not going to be met, it is still there.
Thanks for the great questions, Jade!