i think i have gotten out of the habit of serving Him well. In all the craziness, all the hustle and bustle of our lives these last months, i’ve just slipped away from some things.
Giving Him my full attention ~ that’s has not happened as much, and sometimes it’s because i can’t, because there are children or grandchildren (his or mine) or work things that have to be done, have to be attended to. And so i got out of the habit of turning my mind, turning my attention, to Him completely when He talks or when He touches me.
That’s not something He asks for ~ i don’t think it would occur to Him. It’s something i want to give Him because He’s important to me, and i treasure Him. i can do that with or without kink, give Him my full attention whenever possible.
Then i asked Him for help yesterday. Just saying that makes me feel funny. Yu know i hate asking for help more than just about anything ~ even though i know better, even though i’ve been working on overcoming that for years now.
But i asked Him, and of course He’s going to help.
i’ve been overeating, eating too many sweets, too many carbs. i haven’t gained back the weight i lost a few months ago, but i haven’t lost any more, and i’m bouncing around the “about to gain some back” mark. And not feeling good about myself.
Really, i just confessed how i felt, and said i didn’t know if He could help, but i just needed to tell Him how i felt. We’ve talked about it, and i feel less ashamed than i did, which is nice.
He’s not going to control my eating or anything like that, i think He is just going to be more open in paying attention to it. i’m starting the 17 Day diet again on Tuesday (because it’s the 1st) and we’ll see how that goes. i’m glad i told Him.