Ok, i’m all checked in, bag checked – yes, i packed enough clothes to last a month.  So?  i had to pack shoes, didn’t i?

Got patted down at security ~ have i mentioned how much i hate being touched by people i have not invited to touch me?  And it was just my back side.  Hair, bra, legs.  Weird.  And a little creepy.

Always have an urge to buy a bunch of stuff at the airport, but i resisted ~ well, except i couldn’t help looking at the books.  And then i couldn’t resist getting one.

Fifty Shades of Darker.


i’m paying for it, and the woman behind the counter asks me if i’ve read the first one.  i say yes, she says, “Didn’t it make you mad when they broke up at the end?’ and a young woman standing nearby says, “STOP ~ i haven’t finished the first one!”

i start laughing, but say, “yeah, it did, kinda,” and the woman behind the counter says, “It’s a great love story.  I loved it.”  i just nod and smile, walk away shaking my head.  We’re coming out all over the place.

So now i’m hanging out drinking a latte, and ~ well, blogging.

Here’s something i wanted to blog about yesterday ~ you may have seen it already.   Casey Malone blogged about this book that someone was trying to get published through Kickstarter.   The book’s about how to seduce women, and the author apparently thinks that being dominant is ~ well, i don’t know what he thinks for real.   i don’t think he was touting the book as being BDSM, which is one good thing about it, because it clearly isn’t about consensual kink.  {At least i don’t think it is.}

”5) Get CLOSE to her, damn it!
To quote Rob Judge, “Personal space is for pussies.” I already told you that the most successful seducers are those who can’t keep their hands off of women. Well you’re not gonna be able to do that if you aren’t in close! ”
“All the greatest seducers in history could not keep their hands off of women. They aggressively escalated physically with every woman they were flirting with. They began touching them immediately, kept great body language and eye contact, and were shameless in their physicality. Even when a girl rejects your advances, she KNOWS that you desire her. That’s hot. It arouses her physically and psychologically.”

“Decide that you’re going to sit in a position where you can rub her leg and back. Physically pick her up and sit her on your lap. Don’t ask for permission. Be dominant. Force her to rebuff your advances.”
Pull out your cock and put her hand on it. Remember, she is letting you do this because you have established yourself as a LEADER. Don’t ask for permission, GRAB HER HAND, and put it right on your dick.”
– Source

Casey says:

SO. Now I am no longer rolling my eyes.

This guy is no longer just being weird and creepy on the internet. Now he’s writing a book about how to sexually assault women, and he is using something I believe in (Kickstarter) to ask YOU for money to do it. I am offended as someone who believes in the platform, and more importantly I am offended as someone who believes women shouldn’t be treated this way, and that people who say otherwise CERTAINLY should not profit off saying they should.
This isn’t harmless. People come to these boards because they are scared of being humiliated, and they are saying to the world, “Tell me what to do, because I don’t know what to do.” And this guy has chosen to tell them, “You should be a rapist.”

Lots of us protested to Kickstarter, but we acted too late, and they didn’t pull the project.  They did apologize today, though.  And they did it with some class, like they really meant it.  Here’s the link to the apology.

And here’s more of his outline for the book, with comments, if you’re interested.  It ick-ed me out, but you might feel differently.  What do you think?


8 thoughts on “Updating…

  1. michelle

    I get where everyone is coming from with this guy, but I don’t like how the blog author cuts out several sections, including a decent sized section on stopping when the girl says no, and lumps all the excerpts together. Reading only the blog’s excerpts (and the excerpts you chose, sofia) and the surrounding commentary, I agree that this guy sounds like a “rape trainer.” BUT going and reading his original copy, he sounds much more sane, and I think he makes a lot of good points.
    I know I come to this from a submissive mindset, but nothing drives me more insane when a sexual partner is constantly asking “is this ok? what about this?” Just f’in do something, and I’ll tell you if I don’t like it. And with the number of women who have fallen in love with the “love story” of Fifty Shades, I don’t think I’m alone. And this guy is capitalizing on it.
    my .02.

    1. sofia Post author

      Thank you for sharing your opinion here! I really appreciate your input.

      And omigosh, i agree about guys who are always asking for directions – i’m not a big fan of that, unless it’s in a Dom-way..

      And you’re right – I didn’t quote the part where he says to back off and try again later. I probably need to do a whole ‘nother blog post on this, because of course i have more thoughts. Yeah.

      Thanks again for sharing your thoughts! Hope you’ll add more later when i have a chance to respond for real.

  2. sirqsmlb

    Wow, Ok, I’m impressed with that apology. They certainly did a stand-up job of being respectful and responsible and transparent. Thanks for sharing. There is a difference between Dominant and Domineering. Consent is key, even in relationships of slaves and the like, it should have consensual non-consent.


    1. sofia Post author

      Yeah, i think so too, fiona, about consent being key. His stuff lacks consent – in fact, it seems to lack awareness of the other person as a real person.

      But it was a lovely apology… 🙂


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