It Was a Bug

Yeah.  In the kitchen.  Actually on the coffee maker.  i didn’t see it til it moved.  And then ~ oh, ugh, yuck, yikes, omg.

Don’t judge me,  i hear it can happen in the best regulated of households.

If i could have found a shoe or a phone book or something like that, i would have killed it real quick, but i couldn’t and it moved some more, laughing at me, you know.  It wasn’t a roach, i know that, but it was big and black and ugly and it freaked me out.

So what’s a girl to do?  Sir was sleeping soundly, but an emergency is an emergency, right?  So, keeping one eye on the bug, i call him.  Gently at first.

“Sir?  Sir.”

Then dragging it out to more syllables.  “Ssssss- iiiiiiiirrrrrrr…” and louder, “SIR!” a note of panic rising, and he stumbles out of the bedroom, all sleepy eyed.

“What?” He asks, looking around for the fire.

“Um, look,” i say, “It’s a ~” and my voice goes all high-pitched, girly, i can’t help it, “a BUG!”


“Right there ~ look ~ right there ~ ON the coffee maker ~ omg ~ SEE!  He just MOVED!”

“Oh, yes, oh, yeah, i see.”

And he gets a paper towel and tries to catch it, only of course the ugly creature gets away and Sir has to go back to the bedroom to get his glasses, which tells me how quickly he responded to me, because he never goes anywhere without his glasses.

So i watch for the bug, and sure enough, the sucker moves again, and i ~ um, i might scream, just a little bit.  And i’m holding my breath, Sir comes back, and i’m saying, “There he is, behind the coffee cup, omigod, omigod..” and Sir moves the coffee cup and ~

~ the bug isn’t there, and that’s even worse, i say, “O, no, he got away, omigod, he went down in the counter, omigod, omigod…. ” and Sir can’t help it, he starts laughing.  Yes, laughing.

“It was that last “omigod’ that got me,” He says, still chuckling.  “That last “omigod” was just over the top.”

And he hugs me and kisses the top of my head, and i have to laugh too, i know it’s silly, i can’t help it.  And now i think that bug is living and breeding in my kitchen cabinet and i’ll probably have to get exterminators.

But Sir says, no, it was a back yard bug trying to get to the front yard by cutting through the house, and that we scared him and he won’t do that again.  i think He’s just making that up to make me feel better ~ but that’s ok too.

And He’s still chuckling, just a little bit.  “I’m not laughing at you,” He insists, “It was just that last omigod.  It got me,” and He chuckles a little more.

i will file this under “Early Morning Non-Kink Adventures,” and “Reasons i love Sir.”


20 thoughts on “It Was a Bug

  1. Jz

    Bugs, I can handle.
    Snakes and rodential creatures immediately trigger that “prancing in place” dance that I used to think existed only in cartoons.
    I look like a fool – but it does usually scare the critter away…

    1. sofia Post author

      Omg, JZ, let’s not even talk about rodents. Please. i have cats so that i don’t have rodents – they aren’t just pets, they’re protection. Mice – yikes!!!

  2. DelFonte

    A knight in shining armour coming to the rescue…. and he laughs at you, not quite how the fairy story goes…. I’m the same with spiders. Have to be rescued as I ‘calmly’ shriek for help – I don’t want the kids to inherit my phobias 🙂

    1. sofia Post author

      Lol, DelFonte, He was my knight in shining armor, laughter and all. He can laugh all He wants as long as He comes when i need Him, right? i don’t like spiders, but i don’t mind them nearly so much as bugs and mice… eek. i tired not to pass on my phobia either, but i’m not sure how successful i was.

  3. sirqsmlb

    Oh I loathe bugs, but spiders and quick moving other large insecty things … EGADS!! I revert to three year old squeals and shreeks. I am queen on putting a cup on something (and a brick on the cup) or using the vacuum so I don’t have to get close.

    I wonder if those little fuckers get a huge power rush from knowing they can scare a massive giant into stillness whe. They train their needy little eye on us. UGH.

    BTW, yup NO judgement! Bugs can happen ANYWHERE. especially those trying to take shortcuts!

    1. sofia Post author

      i didn’t even think about putting a cup on the bug! That would have been brilliant! Maybe next time… {Except when i told Sir i was going to do that, He just shook His head. “You were frozen,” He said. “You weren’t moving at all. You couldn’t have put a cup over it.” So hmmm, maybe not.

      And YES, i’m pretty sure they love scaring the crap out of us, and laugh about it later back at bug headquarters!!

  4. vanillamom

    laughing so hard I’m crying…ohmygawd…*falls over guffawing*

    I *LOVE* your Sir. He’s da bomb. 🙂


  5. baby girl

    Ugh! I HATE bugs! And snakes! And worms! I could go on. Great that he was able to bring a calm to the situation and also help you see the humor in it as well.


  6. June

    You gave me a giggle! Daddy is the bug-slayer in our house. Thank goodness for big strong men to hide behind from the multi-legged atrocities!


  7. little monkey

    If W isn’t around I can get the giant hairy assed orb spiders , or the daddylonglegs around here just fine, but the black widows?

    no. just no. They give me the shivers.

    add in the prancey dance and about 900 high pitched OMGs, so no, no judgement from this corner.

    1. sofia Post author

      Well, no, i would think black widows would be awful, terrible, horrible!! omg… {shudder…} Funny, isn’t it? And yet i know {from harsh experience} that if i’m alone, i can actually deal with anything. Very strange.

  8. Wordwytch

    LOL! I understand! I’m that way with snakes. I literally climbed Wolf like a tree one year because a snake was going W-E while I was going N-S. He still teases me about it.

    1. sofia Post author

      And i would love to see you climbing Wolf like a tree!! The idea cracks me up, but i can sooo relate to it. Very funny…


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