Yeah. In the kitchen. Actually on the coffee maker. i didn’t see it til it moved. And then ~ oh, ugh, yuck, yikes, omg.
Don’t judge me, i hear it can happen in the best regulated of households.
If i could have found a shoe or a phone book or something like that, i would have killed it real quick, but i couldn’t and it moved some more, laughing at me, you know. It wasn’t a roach, i know that, but it was big and black and ugly and it freaked me out.
So what’s a girl to do? Sir was sleeping soundly, but an emergency is an emergency, right? So, keeping one eye on the bug, i call him. Gently at first.
Then dragging it out to more syllables. “Ssssss- iiiiiiiirrrrrrr…” and louder, “SIR!” a note of panic rising, and he stumbles out of the bedroom, all sleepy eyed.
“What?” He asks, looking around for the fire.
“Um, look,” i say, “It’s a ~” and my voice goes all high-pitched, girly, i can’t help it, “a BUG!”
“Right there ~ look ~ right there ~ ON the coffee maker ~ omg ~ SEE! He just MOVED!”
“Oh, yes, oh, yeah, i see.”
And he gets a paper towel and tries to catch it, only of course the ugly creature gets away and Sir has to go back to the bedroom to get his glasses, which tells me how quickly he responded to me, because he never goes anywhere without his glasses.
So i watch for the bug, and sure enough, the sucker moves again, and i ~ um, i might scream, just a little bit. And i’m holding my breath, Sir comes back, and i’m saying, “There he is, behind the coffee cup, omigod, omigod..” and Sir moves the coffee cup and ~
~ the bug isn’t there, and that’s even worse, i say, “O, no, he got away, omigod, he went down in the counter, omigod, omigod…. ” and Sir can’t help it, he starts laughing. Yes, laughing.
“It was that last “omigod’ that got me,” He says, still chuckling. “That last “omigod” was just over the top.”
And he hugs me and kisses the top of my head, and i have to laugh too, i know it’s silly, i can’t help it. And now i think that bug is living and breeding in my kitchen cabinet and i’ll probably have to get exterminators.
But Sir says, no, it was a back yard bug trying to get to the front yard by cutting through the house, and that we scared him and he won’t do that again. i think He’s just making that up to make me feel better ~ but that’s ok too.
And He’s still chuckling, just a little bit. “I’m not laughing at you,” He insists, “It was just that last omigod. It got me,” and He chuckles a little more.
i will file this under “Early Morning Non-Kink Adventures,” and “Reasons i love Sir.”