Our Time

When Sir and i first started dating, not really very long ago, we spent Wednesday and Saturday evenings together.  Just about every week.

On Wednesdays, i’d rush home from work to get ready ~ to get the house ready, myself ready.  On Saturdays, i’d usually take an afternoon nap.  That way, i wouldn’t be ready for bed at 9 o’clock at night.

Back then, i was happy to know that i’d see Him twice a week.  It felt stable and ~ kind of reassuring ~ to know we’d have that time together.  It was time carved out of the mundane for each other.

Almost a year ago, we started living together,  and of course we have much more time together.   i love that ~ don’t misunderstand me.  i love knowing He comes home here each night.  i love waking up in the morning and knowing that He’ll be getting up soon.  i love sleeping next to Him.


You know how i am.  i want more.  i want us to carve out some time for us.  i want time for us to focus on us and not get lost in the whatever of our days.

Saturday night is the logical time.  That means i need to do some things differently.

  • i need to take a nap in the afternoon.  That means i can’t routinely schedule stuff all day Saturday.  That means instead of feeling guilty about taking a nap, i need to recognize it’s part of the plan
  • i need to take the time to do whatever preparations are necessary, whether it’s the house or myself.
  • i need to share this thought ~ this idea ~ with Sir and see if He’s willing to try it.  We could decide ahead of time how we spend our time ~ sometimes we have plans, and that’s fun too.  But whatever we do, the focus would be on each other as much as an activity.

Maybe i’m trying to be too structured?  Maybe i should let it be more organic and just happen?  But i don’t think it will.

What do youall do?



9 thoughts on “Our Time

  1. michelle

    Nope, not too structured at all. It’s important to schedule time with your S/O. And it doesn’t matter what you do necessarily, but that you’ve carved out the time and made it “sacred” to you and your partner and the relationship.
    For what it’s worth, I think this is an excellent idea.

  2. jadescastle

    i don’t think organic time happens. There are just too many distractions (television, internet, phone, etc) , even when nothing is planned per se. i think the nap sounds like a need and i hope that you present it that way if i am accurate.
    Around here, SR plans everything. i plan nothing. i may well be too flexible in watching time get spent without focusing on us. i feel protective of her having her own quiet time more than i feel protective of having time made for me/us.

    1. sofia Post author

      Not much TV here, Jade, but everything else is right. Yes ma’am, i will present the nap as a need. 🙂

      i plan way more than most, i would think. Don’t know how i feel about it, but there it is. Sigh… thanks for the input.

  3. sirqsmlb

    I know your not married, but for all practical purposes…um…all relationships that are healthy and really important, take work. Not bad work, but effort and energy and nurturing. Sir and I have been together for over two decades and we have one of the best marriages that I know. We truly adore each other…STILL. AND…, we make us a priority. Not above all else, but a priority to put intentional energy and love and work to make sure we continue to grow our trunk – our relational tree together.

    I think you are one WISE sub Sofia!!


    1. sofia Post author

      Thanks, Fiona, that’s some wise insight coming from you, and it sure makes sense.

      i don’t know about the “wise” part, but i’m working on it!

      1. sirqsmlb

        Wise insight coming from ME?! What … I know I’m a smart ass most of the time, but I am capable of being wise every once in a blue moon! Even the rat gets the cheese SOMETIMES!!


        JK…and I DO KNOW about the “wise” part…

  4. vanillamom

    tsjk tsk…you know better than to ask the “schedule queen” to chime in. The only reason my family calendar isn’t color coded is because TW won’t let me. 🙂 Definitely talk to Him…definitely schedule it…that MAKES it have importance, right? Why shouldn’t time with your Sir be as important as a dentist appointment or having the cleaning lady come, or whatever you put on your calendar each week?

    or as I taught once in church school…if you don’t put the big rocks in your jar first? the little ones will take up too much space and there won’t be room for the big things.


    nilla, scheduling queen of Massachusetts. (and damn proud of it. whahhaahaha)

    1. sofia Post author

      WHAT? Your calendar isn’t color coded???

      Um, mine is. {giggle…} No, really. And i’ve got one calendar that synchs with Sir’s calendar, and one that is for my work stuff, and a different color for voluteer activities and tasks and colors for things Sir and i are doing together and ~ really, yours isn’t color coded? Mwhahahahahaha

      But i remember your lesson about the rocks. i was listening then, and thanks for the reminder!!



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