Last night, i had one of those long, convoluted dreams that went on and on. In one part, there was a little carnival in the middle of the road. It had rides – like it had bumper cars, only they weren’t contained in a rink like they usually are, and they were small, like the little kids version of them.
Before that, I was in a work meeting of some sort. But I don’t remember… I just remember sitting around a table with my co-workers and… I don’t know.
Then I drove somewhere and had to park because the carnival was in the middle of the road. I ran into someone I knew, and talked to them for a minute, and then quite suddenly, I was carrying a baby ~ my daughter, only of course in real life, my daughter is all grown up. But in the dream, she was a little one, maybe 4 or 5 months old, and she was just wearing a diaper. She was asleep, with her arms up almost around my neck.
I lifted her a bit, you know how you do, shifting her weight, and she sighed and stretched her arms up and snuggled into me. I had that lovely, lovely baby feeling and it was soooo nice.
The next thing I knew, I was driving down the road, thinking about where i was headed, and suddenly realized I didn’t know where I had put the baby. I vaguely remember setting her down, but not where, and I’m thinking, surely i put her in the car seat only ~
~ when i look around, there’s no car seat in the car. No baby either. i’m trying to look all over the back seat, even though i’m still driving, but i know she’s not there. i’ve set her down and driven away without her. So i turn the car around and go back to look for her.
As i drive, i realize i’m probably not going to be able to just go retrieve her. CPS is probably already involved and “i forgot” is probably not going to be a good enough excuse. So i’m feeling almost unbearably miserable as i drive along ~~
~~ and then i wake up. And for a minute, i’m still sick and terrified, and then i remember ~ dream, not real, just a dream. Whew.
i don’t know what it means. Not that it really matters, but still.
i’m afraid it’s a warning. No babies to lose, but lots of other precious things i could forget, lay aside and forget to pick up again.
But i’m pretty sure my therapist would have some whole other viewpoint. i have an appointment ~ in mid-May. By then it will be totally moot. So i’m on my own here ~ open to suggestions too.
In other news, i’m hanging in there with the 50 Day Challenge, and getting ready to start the 17 Day Diet. i’m still reading a new Nora Roberts (well, first time in paperback, i won’t buy it in hardcover.) It’s The Witness, and it’s fascinating and compelling. i do love Nora Roberts.
There’s a JD Robb i haven’t read, and i’m excited about that too.
i did errands on Wednesday, and crossed off a lot of items off my World’s Worst Procrastinator list. Now i just need to start taxes. What? You think most people have already done theirs? Pfffft. i scoff at your over-accomplished-ness.
And i’m aware that i haven’t responded to comments in days. Maybe that’s the baby i laid down? i love, love, love getting comments, i don’t know why i’m neglecting them. Sigh… and i’ve been reading OPB’s and not commenting.
As for the kink, sex and spanking ~ is that what this blog is supposed to be about??? O. Sorry. Gotta go exercise now. Try again tomorrow… 🙂