Yes, But…

Sin asked me a couple of questions yesterday about my post – did i want Sir to be different, the relationship to be different, or myself to be different?  Good questions.  {Thank you, Sin, for making me think twice yesterday.}

Then she noted that i sound really happy, which is super true.

So, sometimes i think i want to be dominated more fiercely, to have rules i have to adhere to or i’m in big trouble, to have restrictions and requirements.  But.

i think my Sir is perfect just the way He is, and perfect for me.  And my life is going really well.  And really, really, i don’t know that it could be any better than it is.

So when i think about it later, i’m like, um, no, maybe not.

i don’t have particular rules in mind that i wish He’d impose on me, i think i want Him to want to impose some rules on me, but ones that HE wants, not just because i ask Him to make some up.

But if He doesn’t, then that’s how He is, and isn’t He the one that gets to set the rules for our relationship?  Yeah, i’m pretty sure that’s how that works.

Which means it’s up to me to serve and please as best i can.  Like last night, when i didn’t really want to stop at the grocery on the way home, but He wanted ice cream, so i stopped.   No complaining either, i just did it.

That is not as much fun as having my orgasms controlled.  Maybe.  But do i really want them controlled?  Probably not.

See what i’m saying?

We are both kind of “go with the flow” people.  He’s very zen.   Why would i want to change that about Him?

“The beginning of love is the will to let those we love be perfectly themselves, the resolution not to twist them to fit our own image.”
― Thomas MertonThe Way of Chuang Tzu

8 thoughts on “Yes, But…

  1. DelFonte

    Hi Sophia, Thank you for your last two posts, and Sin’s questions. They certainly got me thinking too. I don’t think I want to ‘change’ my husband, to make him different – I married him for what he is, not what he could be. Maybe draw out aspects of him, especially in the bedroom where I think he could be more dominant with me. Go with the flow is a good idea.

    1. sofia Post author

      Hi, DelFonte, Thanks for reading, and for commenting! If it’s more dominance in the bedroom we’re looking for, i think LK might be right ~ who could resist someone on her knees begging for it?? But yes, going with the flow is often the right thing to do… 🙂 i’m glad if my post was helpful for you.

  2. monkey

    There are times when I feel greedy, and want more, anything, everything! I also have trouble articulating just what it is that I want, all I know for sure is I need MOAR! Finally, after 2 years of cycling through this repeatedly I think I recognize the trigger for me.

    When I feel that what I am getting exceeds what I give, is when this feeling starts to grow.

    It’s entirely internal. I’m not being asked for anything more, but there is this drive in me to give more, and more, and more, which somehow gets twisted around into “I want more”.

    1. sofia Post author

      THAT is fascinating, Monkey. So “i want more” may really be “i want more opportunity to give.” That’s a great insight. i’ll have to go play with that idea… thanks!!

  3. Nisza

    I usualy think that having more it’s not for me. Until I get more. When feel that He controls me. Own my mind… Then I feel… Fulfill. No matter how I’m moaning I feel that I’m in right place. The true is that everybody is different and my feelings don’t have to be the same for everybody else. But I believe that until one doesn’t try, one doesn’t know.

    I’m glad I found your blog – I love the way of your writting 🙂 I’ll definetly follow.

    P.S. Sorry for my English. It’s still not the best.

    1. sofia Post author

      Thanks for the kind words about my blog, Nisza, and for reading. You’re so right, feeling controlled is very fulfilling – i love that too. Good point too that all our feelings are different, and that’s ok.

      No need to apologize for your English – i appreciate the comment!!

    1. sofia Post author

      It’s funny, Sin, for as little time as we’ve been together, there’s no doubt in my mind that He is just right for me, and i for Him. What we do with that just-rightness is up to us. 🙂


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